Almost four years ago, my twin boys were born. They have been the greatest gift to our family, and they have taught me so much. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what things were like when the boys were born. I didn’t know much about how to take care of babies, and I knew almost nothing about taking care of twins.
I checked out books, read websites, went to classes, and tried to learn as much as I could about being a good parent. The first few months were definitely a struggle. I tried to do everything the “right” way, and found that what’s “right” for one family, may not necessarily be “right” for another.
Once the boys started sleeping through the night, things got so much better. Things were better because I was starting to get sleep and think a little more clearly. I also learned the following things that just helped me so much. This post is for future moms of twins. I hope this will help you:
Tips for New Twin Moms
- Trust your instincts. You were given them for a reason. Every time I went against my instincts, I regretted it. And every time I followed my instincts, I was so glad I did. No exceptions.
- You will become a master of logistics. Taking care of twins demands some degree of organization and planning. Ask other twin moms what they do to get ideas, but then do things your way. Celebrate your achievements. Making it to a doctor’s appointment with almost everything you need is quite an accomplishment when your twins are babies.
- It’s okay to do things the easy way sometimes. As a twin mom, you have a LOT on your plate. It’s okay to use paper plates, disposable diapers, and order a pizza for dinner. When you get a good system down, you can switch things up to be more environmentally friendly if you want to.
- Parents who have a “philosophy” usually have an “issue.” I’m sorry if I’m offending anyone, and I’m sure I am, but I’ve found that parents who adhere to a strict parenting philosophy do so because they aren’t completely confident in their parenting. And really, who is completely confident in their parenting? Having a philosophy that others are using is comforting, and it gives you rules and parameters. Using that philosophy as a tool to bully other parents into thinking they’re not doing a good job indicates a self-confidence issue. Their issue, not yours. Try to give them a break. They are struggling just like everyone else. They just don’t want to admit it.
- Breastfeeding is not mandatory. Do not let anyone let you feel guilty about choosing not to breastfeed. You know what’s best for you and your babies. If it happens to be breastfeeding, that’s fantastic. If not, that’s really okay too.
- Be ready for the invasive, personal questions. People will ask you all kinds of weird questions about your pregnancy, whether or not you did fertility treatments, how your life is going to be SO difficult, yadayadayada. They usually mean well. Try to be as kind as you can, smile and nod, and forget what they say.
- Get a good stroller that fits through double doors. Like the Baby Jogger City Mini Double Stroller. It’s your ticket out of the house. If it’s possible, go for lots of walks outdoors. It’s good for you and your babies.
- Order stuff from Amazon. Going to the store a bazillion times a month for baby supplies gets old really fast. Amazon has everything, and they usually have the best prices. We signed up for Amazon Mom and Amazon Prime so we could get free 2-day shipping. Best decision ever.
- Hire a mother’s helper. Find a responsible middle-schooler or high-schooler who wants to get some babysitting experience to come over and help you after school a few days a week. Ask around your neighborhood and see if there are any young people in your area who could help out. Or try to find someone onSittercity. They can help you watch the babies while you get things done in the house. They like helping because they get babysitting experience, and make a little money. And frankly, sometimes it’s nice to have the company.
- You will be surprised at who will help you. I was fortunate because a lot of my friends and family helped us out during the first few months we had the boys at home. A few of my friends disappeared. I have a feeling they will reappear someday when they have children of their own. Having twins really shines a light on the supportive people in your life.
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